“Way I see it, America needs a president who’s gonna somehow un-royally screw up the Middle East, do some serious cleaning up after you dropped your pants and took a steaming dump all over the fucking environment, and—boom!—restore dignity, honor, and all that shit to these United States.
“See, I got solutions to all your problems—I got ’em right here in my big, hairy ballsack.”
link: I Got What America Needs Right Here | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
